Why do we play slots? It’s not for the odds, those are atrocious. It’s not for the exercise, although by the looks of it some people need to keep pulling that handle to keep the skin from completely sliding off their arms. It’s not for the mental challenge – no further explanation needed there. So what is it? Should come as no shock that it’s the illusion of hitting it big with a progressive jackpot.

Progressive jackpots are everywhere in the online casinos, and they offer hope to the masses. Hope that you, grandma, she who studies not the games of cards, can still rake in the dough with the lucky push of a button. Advantage play slots look even sweeter. These are when the progressive jackpot gives players a positive expectation of winning. The players actually legitimately have the advantage over the house. However, since the majority of the progressive jackpot already has been built up by other players’ losses, the casino still stands to make a profit regardless of whether a new player cashes in.

But slot players don’t care about that. They don’t care that thousands before them have been in their very seat, pumping quarters and dollars into the casino’s coffers. It’s all about that one big chance. Don’t even get me started on the nickel clan down the row.

So can the progressive jackpots really be hit? Sure, every once in a blue moon. To maximize the edge, some wise gamblers organize teams to play progressive machines. They work in shifts, almost like a blackjack team, and are immediately replaced by others on their team when they’re finished. Some casinos will kick you all out if they realize you’re playing in teams, as it’s against their rules. In the end, though, the only ones these people are “stealing” money from are the other players. The casino just wants the traffic. They know the odds are ultimately in their favor.

In my next slots article, I’ll talk about the three basic kinds of progressive slot machines. All of them have their unique twist to an otherwise dead-end game. Funny how the most brain dead game in the entire casino takes up most of the damn floor, and whines the loudest from across the room. Kinda like you’re retarded cousin who comes to visit once a year. And while the slot machines might not drool on your floor, they’re definitely not the brain trust of the operation. Yeah, there’s money to be won, but it almost feels like an empty victory when you do.